Sunday, November 25, 2012

Help chose a kitten to be interviewed

I NEED YOUR HELP ON CHOOSING A KITTEN, 

JESS REFUSES TO ASSIST ME.


Liza:  I am interviewing candidates for my kitten interview.

Jess: What? Absolutely not!

Liza: Oh come on Jess. It’s time to get over your hatred of cats.

Jess: You get slashed on the tip of you nose and then say that.

Liza: Oh look, your possuem buddy is outside looking for you.
Jess: What? Oh, Let me out! Let me out!

Liza *opens door, let's Jess out, then closes door. * Jess is going to be so pissed when she discovers I lied. Playing Possum possum isn't out there.  I was simply tired of arguing with Jess. I want to interview a kitten.
So I scoured the pictorial world of kittens and isolated the following five candidates. All are new author/soon to be author kittens.

Candidate 1:  What Do I Have to do to Get Noticed Kitten.  10 pts for getting noticed. MINUS 10pts for how you got noticed. Dipping your furry ass butt in my tea is NOT a good start to an interview.






Candidate 2:  I Gave Everything to my Book Kitten. Big mistake there. Now you're in no shape to market your book, nevertheless perform guest blogs. Remember, being an author is a marathon, not a sprint.






Candidate 3:  I Died During Edits Kitten. It happens. Sometimes the process of editing is painful for a new author. However, I'm not interviewing a dead kitten. So stop pretending you're dead and get back to your edits. 

Source: oscci.com via Liza on Pinterest


Candidate 4: Please God, Let My Book be a Bestseller Kitten. Never hurts to call out to the big guy. However, keep in mind the dead kitten above you is probably hogging the prayer line.  And the one below has God on speed dial. So get that cute little pink nose back to grindstone. 

Source: 500px.com via Liza on Pinterest


Candidate 5: Dear God. Don't Make Me Do An Interview with Liza! Kitten. Would you prefer to be interviewed by Jessie. I assure you that would go far worse. Especially when you are baring those sharp claws.

Source: 500px.com via Liza on Pinterest

I can't decide. 


There is so much potential in each of these. Let's have a vote. 

I don't have the energy to round up a vote program, although I probably should learn how to do that.  SIGH!!!!
Is there no end to the new things I have to learn?

THERE IS A POLL ON THE RIGHT SIDE FURTHER UP by the furry marketing genius soaking in my green tea. YOU MAY VOTE THERE OR YOU MAY LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR VOTE. I'LL COUNT EITHER.

Since I expect no more than 3 visitors, it won't take me more than an hour to count the votes. 

I dream of the day when I have 1501 faithful followers. Then I'll really need a poll counter.

So Choose your Poison....errrr, I mean Kitten.

12 comments:

  1. I have to go with, I died during edits kitten. I feel the pain.

    -Cheryl

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, Liza, this is a hilarious post!!! I'll be comment number two, and I vote for the What Do I have to Do to Get Noticed kitten. I mean, look at the lengths that little one is willing to go for art! Do you really think he/she wanted to get their furry ass butt dipped in tea??

    ReplyDelete
  3. I also voted for the wet assed marketing maniac. However, dead kitty is on its tail. And who know, if other people accidentally wander onto my blog, it might still be a kitten race. Thanks for stopping by. And thanks for thinking I'm funny. It gives me incentive to be even funnier.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Okay...I felt a connection with I Died During Edits Kitten, so that's where my vote is going. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another for Dead Kitty. I think its in the lead now.

      Delete
  5. Great post!! Number 4 is my pick! Too cute! :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. I vote for Dead Kitty. :) Makes me laugh and picture my authors every time I see it. Hmm. Did that sound sadistic?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I voted for the first one becasue you were so hard on him.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You drink furry ass green tea and see how you like it. However I voted for Marketing kitten as well because I'm concerned dead kitten might be really dead and I don't know how I'll interview a dead kitten AND make it funny. I'm sure I'll manage, but yelling at marketing kitten will be so much easier. However, the votes appear to be in dead kitty's favor. Only a miracle will pull Marketing kitten up to #1.

    ReplyDelete

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