Monday, November 19, 2012

RIOT IN PROCESS




Liza: Jess stop rioting and tell me what's wrong.


Jess: You took down the interview with Cass and Troy after one day. I wanted to read it again. It's funny.

Liza: You thought them being unruly and difficult was funny?


Jess: Yes.


Liza: *Sigh*  Okay, the contest has moved on to another site, but here's my interview with Cass and Troy.






Liza: I’m here today with two of my main characters, Cass and her security specialist Troy. Hold on. Cass, where’s Troy?
Cass: I asked him to wait outside the door. I’ve heard about your ‘hard-hitting’ interviews. I feared he might shoot you, if you gave me a hard time like you’ve done to your other victims.
Liza: For the readers who haven’t caught Cass on You-tube complaining about her new crappy life, Cass is a frightening, ghoul-faced teen
and Troy is….*sigh*….heavenly.




Cass: Hey, knock it off. I saw him first.
Liza: Yes, but you are a 17-year-old child and he’s a gorgeous 30-year-old slab of prime beef.
Cass: Yes, but he’s my slab of beef, or will be when I stopped being jailbait.
Liza: Honestly, I’m surprised that would stop you. I’ve never met a more determined character in my life.
Cass: *snorts* It wouldn’t. However, it takes two to tango and Troy is probably the most honor-bound guy I’ve ever met. I worry he’ll still refuse to touch me even when I’m an adult.
Liza: —because you’ll still be his best friend’s baby girl. You may be right. I wrote him as honorable as they come.
Cass: And me as hideous as they come. Did I piss you off in a prior life?
Liza: Actually, I like you a great deal. In fact, I cried when you killed yourself in chapter one.
Cass: About that? Who starts their book off by killing the main character in Chapter One?
Liza: Someone who ignores rules like: do not kill your main character in Chapter one. I thrive at breaking rules and getting into trouble.
Cass: So Old Casey was channeling you.
Liza: *pauses before responding* Wow, I hadn’t thought about that, but yes, Old Casey is a great deal like me. She was all alone fighting the world, just like— Hey! I’m not the one being interviewed. Stop stealing my job.
Cass: Wouldn’t be hard to do. You really are terrible at interviews.
Liza: Well, if I were any good, Fox News Channel wouldn’t want me, now would they?
Cass: Have they actually offered you a position?
Liza: No.
Cass: Then Liza, I think it’s time to start a new book, because your time is better spent writing unique stories rather than interviewing people, bears, geese and characters.
Liza: I'm planning to interview a kitten next.  Hold on! Did you just compliment me?
Cass: *frowns* Maybe. And I did so  despite the fact I’m not happy at all with my ghoulish looks, but at least you opened the door for me to get them removed.
Liza: Yes. I took a picture of you to a real physician who specializes in removing facial tattoos and got his recommendation of treatment.
Cass: But then you entirely ignored him when he suggested I be put under!
Liza: *grimaces* That was a little mean of me.
Cass: A little? I have to endure 8-20 excruciating procedures over the next year.
Liza: At least I made it cheap black ink. That’s the easiest to remove. Had I made it white tattoos you’d be stuck with them forever. Lasers can’t remove the color white.
Cass: Then thank you for not reducing my future career opportunities down to one: working on the streets as a mime.
Liza: Well, I’m sure you would have been an excellent mime, given how expressive your face is even when covered in black.
Cass: Can we return to the interview?
Liza: I’m frustrated with this interview. You keep taking charge of it.
Cass: That’s because mentally, I have more life experience than you.
Liza *gets up and goes to the door. Opening it, she waves in handsome Troy.* Come on in. We need eye candy.
Troy: *eyes narrow* I am not eye candy.
Liza: Yes, you are, but you are high quality candy. You are a dark chocolate truffle.
Cass: Stop flirting with Troy and get back to the interview.
Liza: Troy, any chance you are going to jump Cass’ bones in the next…let’s say five years?
Troy: None whatsoever and change the topic.
Liza: What if I told you Cass was actually an 80-year-old woman who inexplicably woke up in a teenager’s body?
Troy: If I thought you actually believed that, I would suggest therapy. However, your sense of humor is legendary…rather like Hiroshima.
Cass: *nods* Or that Tsunami that hit Asia years ago.
Liza: *big huff* I am never interviewing you two again. You’re too unruly. You can go away now.
Troy: Don’t you still need to tell everyone about the book?
Liza: I do, but I’m no longer in the mood. I’ll let them watch my spectacular trailer created by Danielle Fine. If that doesn’t get them to want to read the book, then you two are taking the blame.




Cass: Wow…someday I’m going to be beautiful!

Troy: *frowns* I’m more concerned over the doubt hovering over your survival. Let’s go. This place isn’t secure enough.
Cass: And thanks Jess for getting us more blog-time.
Jess: Anything for you Cass. 

Liza: Bye, thanks for coming. *Big Sigh* Honestly, I’m not interviewing my characters anymore. It’s like they can read my mind.
Here’s all the valuable information you need to know to buy Saving Casey.  Be decisive!
Click and buy now! It’s unique, like me.
And really good….unlike me.



Saving Casey Available at


Don’t wait!
The super volcano under Yellowstone Park
 could explode tomorrow.

4 comments:

  1. Very funny interview. Adult supervision was clearly needed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Super fantastic interview. Although Cass would hate me saying it - her tats are her cheeks are intriguing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here's the weird thing. I took the picture of the tattoo and had temp tats made which I then put on my 17 yr old actress, and the poor thing looks hideous, just like she' suppose to. I don't know why they look good on this particular model. Maybe because she had such a wide face. Check out the actress temps. http://youtu.be/p6QzYsxJ7jQ

    Thanks for persevering to reach my blog.

    ReplyDelete

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