Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Morning After the Kitty Party

Writing Kitten: Am I still alive? I can't feel anything? Do I have a tail? I think Ed Bite ate it right after she declared it unnecessary.

I really shouldn't have had 20 saucers of egg nog. Did you see which publisher I signed with. I can't remember anything after the third saucer.

What happened? Where did all these dogs come from? On no! my litter sis, Corine, is sleeping with a dog! Corine wake up and run!
Oh this is really bad! Where did all these dogs come from. And why are they so flat?

What happened last night. Why didn't Liza wake up and rescue us. How could she possible sleep through this?

Oh look, that little pup tried to call for help. This is terrible! Dead beat Kitten, are you really dead now?
Is anyone but me still alive. I do not want to be the last kitty standing. Cute or not, they'll send me to the gas chamber for this disaster. 
Is anyone still alive?  Anyone?
Mouse: I am.
WK: What about your friend?
Mouse: Exhausted and sleeping. Dodging a houseful of drunk cats and dogs is no small feat.
WK: Are there any KITTENS still alive? Anyone?
Is it safe to come out?
Are the dogs permanently flat?
WK: I fear so. 
That's not good. One of them called PETA.

WK: We've got to get them out of here and clean this place up. How many of us kittens are still alive?

I'll answer that once the dogs are gone.

Baby wolf: My mom says I can wake the dead. I'll get everyone up.

Scaredy Kit: What the bloody **** is that? Everyone, wake and run! Wolves are among us. Run, run for your lives.

Liza: *stumbles in the room* What is that god awful noise? Stops and stares at room.

Liza: Maniac, Tell Ado. You guys are in soooo much trouble.
MM: *enters from outside* Hey come out and see your new advertisement. Whoa! When did all this happen? Nevermind. Come see my best marketing ploy ever.

Liza: *steps outside* Oh Maniac, what have you done now? I'll definitely need a lawyer this time. 

Nope, I'm not showing you what Maniac has done until my lawyer tells me how much trouble I'm in.


  1. Dear kittens. I need to explain why no one is commenting today. They have eaten turkey and their vision is too blurred to get through the spam filters. Be patient and stop sobbing. Just start picking up stuff and get those dogs out of my house. Jess is going to have a fit when she comes home.

  2. OMGosh. I am laughing my butt off. I really think that your kittens and my kitteh are in cahoots. I woke up yesterday to find Abby (my kitteh) on the floor next to her open bottle of Pounce treats. How she got it down, and how she got it open is a mystery to me. She is a naughty and devious kitteh. Perhaps she has been sharing notes with your brood of kittens?

  3. Very funny, but only if you didn't have to clean up that mess.Tweeted.

  4. Oh no...I'm not cleaning it up. The kittens have to do so. No food until they do.


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