Happy July 4th
the day of over indulgence in all forms.
I was watching a squirrel try
to get into my bird feeder when the phone rang.
It was Jack Kershaw, one of my favorite zombies.
"How's it going,
Liza?" he asked. "Got plans
for the Fourth yet?"
"The usual," I
said. "The scent of lighter fluid
fumes, mass explosions, and a traumatized dog.
What about you?"
"I just got a smoker,
and I'm testing it out this weekend, and if you didn't have any plans, I wanted
to invite you!"
I tried to cut him off, but
he just kept on going.
"I've been testing out a
new dry rub, and I've got the Franklin Barbecue cookbook, and it's going to be
great. I'm going to do the meat
Texas-style-- it's all about the cookie and having a good crust and cooking low
and slow and all that. You ever watch
Barbecue Wars, on the Food Network?"
"JACK!" I said.
"Stop talking. You do realize I'm not a zombie, right?”
“We don’t mind. The more
varied, the merrier.”
A new worry tickled my brain.
“What kind of meat are you using, anyway?"
There was a brief moment of
silence. "Well, we'll have some
other food, too. I'm making the pimento
cheese right now."
While I’m not a fan of
pimentos and cheese makes me ill, it sounded much better than dead human cooked
in a smoker. "It's just cheese dip, right?
You didn’t throw in bits of dead bodies to liven it up a bit, did you?"
"The dip's fine. You might want to stay away from the
crackers, though."
I sighed. The crackers were
the only item I had thought I could eat. The idea of being a starving live
person among a bunch of hungry dead people didn’t sound like a good idea.
"Much as I appreciate the offer, I think I have other plans."
"Are you sure? Do you want to come for fireworks?"
The squirrel was swinging
from the bottom of the feeder, his feet pedaling like he was on a bicycle. He was a determined little guy. "What, home fireworks? I’m pretty sure they’re illegal in
Massachusetts." That’s where you live, right?
“Of course!”
Writes note to self to avoid Massachusetts.
"If you check the internet, it
says no illegal firework displays. It’s the same here in New Jersey."
"Really? I wondered why Arturo wanted to drive to a
place in New Hampshire. Anyway, you
haven't lived until you've seen a bunch of dead guys set off fireworks. We are the ultimate 'Hold my beer and watch
this' gang. Last year I was shooting off
a Roman candle from my mouth, and the thing misfired..."
"All right," I
said. "I'm skipping the barbecue,
but I'll be there after dark for the fireworks." Then a point of concern
made me reconsider. “Your friends won’t bite
me, will they? I’m working on a four book series, I don’t have time to die
right now.”
“You’ll be fine. Come! You’ve
never truly lived until you party with the dead.”
****
Read more with Jack in
Zombies in Love, now available as an audiobook!
or
And until the 5th of July, Zombies in Love is
free on Amazon!
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